Well if that's love, it comes at much too high a cost...

Too long I've been afraid of losing love, I guess I've lost
Well if that's love, it comes at much too high a cost

Defying Gravity - Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth, 'Wicked' soundtrack

---

I think I've finally figured out what it feels like to love someone you can't have. I probably shouldn't even be feeling this way, but I can't help it. It's on my mind all the time. I really can't stop thinking about it, even though it hurts more and more as I continue to think about it because I know it can't ever happen. It's just now hit me that I feel this way about this person, just within the last few days. I don't know how to stop thinking about it though. I really want them, but there's too much keeping us apart. I never could've dreamed it was like this - I've heard people talk about it, but I never realized how much it hurts until now. Just sitting here now, thinking about it too much, it makes me feel like I can hardly breathe. I don't even know how to say it to that person - we're friends, and what if they don't feel the same? I just don't know.

UPDATE FAILURE XD

Haha, so yes, I planned to update before the holidays... And it's January 12th. Fail much? XD Ah, it doesn't matter! I'm updating now, aren't I? Actually, I was reminded by my history teacher telling us today that we need to keep a diary so there are first-hand sources just in case we become famous historical figures. Well, I'm not keeping an actual diary (though I may get one just because) so right now this blog will just have to do! I'm going to try and update as much as possible (even though not much goes on in my life!)

So, lalala. What to say, what to say....

My holidays were pretty great! I got some cool gifts and spent a lot of time with my family and had some awesome food. I quite enjoyed the time off school! I did not, however, enjoy the finals I had to take to earn that vacation, though I did pretty well. My schedule is all wacked up this semester... My English teacher is actually taking pity on me because of the amount of books I carry! XD Yes, it sucks. The new schedule is as follows.

1. World History (win!) with Mr Vasquez (who as far as I can tell is an awesome history teacher)
2. Geometry (same as 1st sem.) with Mrs Taylor (no one seems to like her but I really think she's alright)
3. Presentation & Document Design (computer class) with Mrs Ashley. (I don't really like nor dislike her... She bores me, really...)
4. Biology (ew) with Mr Dobihal (ew ew)
5. French (awesome) with Madame Ellis (who is a pretty great teacher)
6. English - Reading (yay for books!) with Mr Benz (another awesome new teacher!)
7. Driver's Ed (O.O) with Mr Lucas (Don't really like him much but only have him for this 9 weeks and then I get a study hall! Hurrah!)

And there you have it! Speaking of Driver's Ed, I have the test to take my permit tomorrow. I'm pretty nervous and need to study but I think in the end I'll do pretty well. (Knock on wood!) Wish me luck guys!

I'm sad though, because Scho Bowl season is almost over with and I'll have nothing to do after school when it ends! Lame! I love Scho Bowl and have some epicly awesome coaches.

AND NOW FOR THE FUN STUFF 8D

WICKEDWICKEDWICKED. It has eaten my brain! Seriously! I think it's just about all I listen to anymore, but can you blame me? Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth <333 I think I have literally fallen in live with Idina - she's gorgeous and has a gorgeous voice to match! I also read the book and am in the process of rereading! It was pretty great - Gregory Maguire is a genius. Must find the sequel... PLANNING TO SEE THE MUSICAL IN ST LOUIS IN JUNE <333 Marcie Dodd and Helene Yorke as Elphie and Glinda... I hope hope hope I can go, that would make my year!

Um... Rereading Angels & Demons as well, for the 24145151th time! XD I can't help it if Dan Brown writes great (if not a bit... cliche?) books! I actually lent out my copy of his new book to a girl in my Bio class because I found out she and another girl are also Dan Brown fans! Yay, other Langdon lovers in my school! <3 My life is awesome.

I got 5, count 'em FIVE, Tom Hanks films for Christmas! Catch Me If You Can, Joe Vs The Volcano, Sleepless in Seattle, You've Got Mail, and Forrest Gump... Watched Forrest Gump... cried. <3

Watched 'The End of Time' episode of Dr Who. Cried. (Thanks to my English friend Jenny... Poor thing was crying about it for days... It was really sad though, I don't blame her!)

Umm... Not much else...

IF Y'ALL COULD DO SOMETHING FOR ME.... If you read this (even if you just skimmed) please comment and let me know so I can know how many people actually pay attention to my ramblings... Even if it's just a comment that says 'I read it' or ':)' or '.' I don't care, just comment!

Thank you! Talk to you all later, Au revoir, and Bonne nuit!